Best Hockey Jokes and Puns for Him or Her
Are you looking for hockey jokes and puns? You are in the right place. Use these hockey jokes and puns with you people who are into hockey. We have collected 95+ best hockey jokes and puns in this post for you to enjoy!
Why was the hockey player arrested and taken to jail? They say he shot the ball.
Do you know about the hockey player who could not listen to music? Because he broke a record.
Do you know something funny happened last night? We were watching a wrestling match, and a game of hockey broke out!
Do you know that hockey players love drinking tea? Their favorite one is penal-tea.
Do you know the secret behind the fitness of New Jersey Devils hockey players? They say it is exorcising.
Do you know the skeleton who drove to see the Hockey game? The skeleton had reached the stadium in his Zam-bony.
Do you know who ZZ Top’s favorite hockey players were? Travis Zajac, Zach Parise, and Jamie Langenbrunner.
Do you know why the magician was selected as a forward in the local hockey team? The coach was impressed by his hat-tricks.
From where do hockey players get their hockey uniforms? New Jersey.
Have you heard old people saying that they used to watch ice hockey before it was cool? Were they basically swimming?
Have you heard what they say about hockey players? They say they are known for their summer teeth; some are here, some are there.
Have you seen the hockey player who visited the bank? He said he wanted to give out more checks.
Heard about the ghostbuster who was signed to the hockey team? He is great at blocking ghouls.
Heard about the hockey player who was ice-fishing? He got run over by the Zamboni.
Heard about the monkey who won the Stanley Cup? They say he is a chimpion.
Heard about the professional ice hockey player who switched his profession to become an accountant? He got an off-ice job.
Heard about the young ice hockey player accidentally got locked in the men’s room? He was ice-o-lated.
How are hockey players paid? With a check.
How are hockey players so good at making new friends? They know how to break the ice real quick.
How many NHL players can jump higher than a crossbar? All of them, because a crossbar can’t jump!
How was Stan Lee an outstanding hockey player? When he went to his very first hockey practice, he already had the Stanley Cup.
In an interview, the famous goalkeeper’s wife was asked, “Why should one date a goalie”? She replied, “Because he’s a keeper.”
Were you watching the hockey match last night? It was like the perfect icing on the cake.
What are your views regarding the new playing strategy used by the hockey team at today’s match? Well, I must say, it was a really well thawed-out plan.
What did Rick Martin, Rene Robert, and Gilbert Perrault have in common while playing hockey? They had a French connection.
What did a goalie say to the puck after the game of hockey? “Catch you later, mate.”
What did the Zamboni say to the hockey player? Ice to meet you.
What did the captain of the ship say to the hockey player who was using the rowboat? Bobby Orr.
What did the coach say to the new hockey player? I have my ice on you.
What did the enforcer say to the hockey team? Just checking.
What did the hockey player said to his fan? Icy that you have great taste.
What did the ice hockey player say to his wife on the phone? Take care, icy you later.
What did the player say to his coach when he was teaching him a new playing strategy? Oh, icy!
What do the New York Rangers and the Titanic have in common? They look good until they hit the ice.
What do you call a dad and son duo invited over for dinner at the hockey coach’s home? It was the Father, the Son, and the goalie host.
What do you call a rapper’s dog playing ice hockey? Scoop Dogg.
What does an Eskimo hockey player love to eat? Ice berg’ers.
What happened at the party last night? A Canadian friend of mine, was at the party where a hockey game that broke out.
What happened on the charter flight? All the hockey players were seated according to the position they play; one of them almost froze to death on the left wing.
What happened to the Zamboni driver? The local hockey rink reported he went missing; they hope he resurfaces soon.
What happened to the hockey player who was demanding money? They gave him a check.
What happened to the new ice hockey player, whose performance was not up to the mark? He got cold feet.
What happened when a bunch of friends decided to go to the hockey game? Everyone agreed it was too far, and they will have to put that idea on ice.
What happened when a hockey player bumped into another player on the ice? One broke one of his teeth, but it was acci’dental.
What happened when hockey legends Jean Ratelle, Rod Gilbert, and Vic Hadfield started to tell a joke? They soon reached the GAG line.
What happened when the ice hockey referee made a wrong decision? The team wanted just ice.
What hockey position did the ghost play in? He played as a ghouli.
What if potato chips companies launch air hockey? It would just be air and less hockey.
What is an ice hockey fan’s favorite dessert to eat while watching a horror movie? An I-scream.
What is the name of the comedic trio that Detroit Red Wings fans love with all their heart? The name is Monty Babc*ck’s Flying Circus.
What is the perfect gift for someone who plays hockey? How about an ice cap?
What is the reason that the hockey NHL players never sweat during a match? Because all the stadiums have lots of fans.
What is the reason that the ice hockey rink has curved corners? Because if they were square with an angle of 90 degrees, the ice would simply melt.
What is the similarity between Buffalo Sabres and grizzly bears? They go into hibernation every fall.
What is the similarity between a dentist and a field hockey coach? They both use drills!
What is the similarity between a game of hockey and an airboat? Loud fans.
What is the similarity between a goldfish and an ice hockey player? The only way one can get their attention is by tapping on the glass.
What is the similarity between music and ice hockey game? If a person doesn’t C sharp, the person will B flat.
What made the short-tempered coach of the hockey team so frustrated when he opened his email? He had so many forwards.
What makes the defeated hockey team and scrambled eggs similar? Both are beaten up real bad.
What position would Luke Skywalker play if he was on the Star Wars hockey team? X-Wing.
What was on the menu for the winning hockey team? Stanley Cupcakes.
What was the coach’s reaction when it was announced that the team’s starting goalie would not be able to join the game due to a peanut allergy reaction? “That’s nuts.”
What was the hockey player’s reaction when he accidentally slipped and fell on the ice? He gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What was the only thing constant in the Ottawa Senators Stadium during the mid-2000s? There was always a ‘Pizza Line’ there.
What was the zombie doing at the hockey rink? He was there to take the ride on zombieoni.
What were the two NHL players talking about? One of them said, “I had a great ice hockey joke, but it slipped my mind.”
What would a field hockey striker say on Halloween? Hat Trick or Treat!
What would you call the former amateur hockey players who has regrets for not playing the game professionally? Wayne Regretzky!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite Italian pasta? Zam’roni.
When do hockey players wear formal attire? When it is a tie game!
Where do retired hockey players prefer working? At the bakery, as they are good at icing the cakes.
Which animal is really good at playing hockey? A score-pion.
Which hockey players can not be trusted? Anyone on the Devils.
Who was the famous sitcom character who loves hockey? It is none other than Stanley from ‘The Off-ice.’
Why Cinderella could not be on the field hockey team? She had a habit of always running away from the ball.
Why Cinderella was bad at hockey? Because she learned it from a pumpkin.
Why are former hockey players Buzz Schneider, John Harrington, and Mark Pavelich so good in geometry? This is because they were ConeHeads!
Why are sparrows good at playing ice hockey? Because they are excellent at ‘chirp’-ing.
Why are stand-up comedians so good at playing forward? They are always prepared with their hockey shtick.
Why can’t a pig play hockey? They hog the puck.
Why could the shoe shop owner not find the right-sized shoe for a hockey player? It was a square foot.
Why did the hockey player climb on the tree with his hockey stick? He wanted to join the maple leaves.
Why did the horse go to the hockey trials? He misheard it and thought it was jockey trials.
Why do field hockey players always carry an extra pair of shoelaces? In case they want to tie the score.
Why do hockey players avoid dressing up for Halloween? Because they have to take their face-off.
Why do people say that carpenters can not play hockey? They always get nailed to the boards.
Why do they say that Canadians are better than Germans at the game of hockey? Canadian people have their ‘eh’ game while Germans bring their wurst.
Why does the hockey rink get hot after the game? All the fans left.
Why dragons are not allowed to play ice hockey? They might melt the ice with their firey breaths.
Why had the businessman failed to acquire a hockey stadium? His real estate agent could only give him a ball-park estimate.
Why had they stopped the zombie hockey game? They said someone had a face-off in the corner.
Why it is advised not to crack jokes while playing ice hockey? The ice might crack up.
Why was a surgeon included in the local hockey team? The team management was impressed by his bury-hat-trick operations.
Why was the dog who was playing hockey put in the penalty box? He got 2 minutes for ruffing.
Why was the hockey player sent to the penalty box? After numerous icings in a hockey game, he needed time to thaw out.
Why was the ice hockey player always going to the convenience store in the middle of the game? Because he had a grocery stick.
Why was the young hockey player not able to play in the school music band? He broke his trombone.
Why were so many track marks on the ice of the hockey rink? The maintenance authority must be slipping up.