My Wife Yells at Me
Have you ever wondered why your wife yells at you? How can you stop her from yelling so much? Whether it’s your mother, your boss, or your best friend, sometimes people get really angry at you, and if you’re on the receiving end of this anger, it can be hard to tell why it’s happening in the first place or how to make them stop. In this article, I’ll share some common reasons people yell at others and tips on how to diffuse an argument before it gets out of hand.
If you have the unfortunate circumstance of having to put up with your wife’s nagging, then you might be wondering why she does it and what you can do to make her stop. First of all, there are many possible reasons why she yells at you, and they’re not always as straightforward as you might think.
There is a way you can change things
What’s sad is that, in many relationships, one or both partners don’t even notice that their communication patterns are destructive until things get out of hand and someone gets hurt. There are ways you can change things and make your relationship better. For example, you could write down three instances when your wife yelled at you or criticized you. Identify what she said that was critical, how it made you feel (angry? sad?), and how it influenced your feelings about her as a partner and a person. When you think back on those moments, try to identify if there were times when she wasn’t yelling but her tone was still critical; if so, list those instances too.
Start by looking within
The first thing you want to do is take a long, hard look in the mirror. Are you doing anything that might be triggering your wife’s negative behavior toward you? For example, if your wife screams at you while she’s driving, there’s a good chance she’s not doing it because of who you are as a person—but rather because of something about her own behavior. If you take responsibility for your part in any conflict and address it head-on by talking through it with your partner and working together on solutions, then things like yelling or other behavioral issues will likely improve over time. The key here is communication—really digging into each other’s needs and feelings.
Understand how your spouse thinks
This is not an easy question to answer, but one of the first things you’ll need to understand is why your spouse behaves in certain ways. When she gets upset, does she feel like you are being argumentative or inflexible? Is she feeling stressed about something else in her life, like a new job or lack of sleep? Do you have a history of fighting over trivial things that could escalate into major fights?
Do not be defensive
If your partner does not trust you, it will be difficult for you to build a good relationship with them. If your partner is upset, then let them calm down before trying to talk about whatever is bothering them. This may take some time and patience on your part, but even if they are yelling at you, they still want to communicate with you. Give them time to settle down so that they don’t feel too overwhelmed by their emotions.
Forgive yourself for past mistakes
You are not perfect, so don’t beat yourself up for mistakes you’ve made in your past. Use your past experiences as learning opportunities and forgive yourself for any mistakes you’ve made. Don’t dwell on them—instead, focus on how you will use your experience and knowledge going forward. By putting the past behind you, it’s easier to focus on making positive changes for yourself and others.
Turn the situation around before it gets worse
If your wife is yelling, then something has set her off. Identify where things started going downhill. If she’s yelling because of something you said or did, apologize and admit that it was wrong/you were in the wrong. Fixing a problem as soon as possible is always better than waiting for it to get worse. Don’t let things snowball and don’t give your partner an opportunity to yell about other issues later on (as hard as that may be).
Remember, she loves you!
With your partner’s feelings in mind, it is important that you address those emotions and try to remedy them. Remember that your spouse loves you and will usually react positively when you prove that you love her or him too. Don’t be surprised if your significant other asks questions like Where have you been all day? or What have you been doing with yourself recently? Avoiding these questions is only going to make things worse—so answer honestly, apologize, ask for forgiveness and discuss how you two can work together moving forward so that such incidents don’t occur again.
Related: 9 Ways to Achieve a Peaceful Mind
If you’re the partner of someone who yells at you, you may feel like there’s nothing you can do to make the situation better, especially if this isn’t your first time dealing with this sort of behavior from them. While it can be challenging to change your partner’s behavior, it isn’t impossible – as long as you do it carefully and with the goal of having a healthy relationship in mind. Here are some suggestions on how to deal with your yelling spouse in order to make both of your lives easier.